Its gonna be 3 years next week.
I've got feelings that I can't explain .. even to myself ..
I dunno if its called 'not being able to get over some one' or is it just plain .. 'stuck up bitch'?!
Its not like I haven't tried .. I've tried .. a hell LOT. Yes , even 'dating' other guys. But it just didn't work.
I then realised, even if I 'date' a guy , I need to 'like' him, in order to forget the past.But that spark isn't there in me anymore.
I'm living .. I'm fine .. Its just that .. I very often feel, that there's something missing from my chest.
Not just emotionally, I've even hurt myself PHYSICALLY for him .. Yes .. I'm one of those crazy girls .. who have cut open their wrists .. drank waay too much alcohol .. in order to forget him for that ONE moment.
I've done all that.. & yet .. here I am .. writing in my blog about HIM.
Its kind of weird .. coz we are still very much .. the best of friends .. & I know, nothings' gonna happen now & he reallllyyy likes his present girl .. but somehow .. its impossible for me to get him outta my system.
He's like a drug to me .
I need him to be alive.
I know it is way tooo stupid, but it is the truth.
I found this quote online, it kind of justifies what I think ..
''It's like my mind knows what's right but my heart is being retarded and still cares.''
Pretty much true, eh ?
x
I've done all that.. & yet .. here I am .. writing in my blog about HIM.
Its kind of weird .. coz we are still very much .. the best of friends .. & I know, nothings' gonna happen now & he reallllyyy likes his present girl .. but somehow .. its impossible for me to get him outta my system.
He's like a drug to me .
I need him to be alive.
I know it is way tooo stupid, but it is the truth.
I found this quote online, it kind of justifies what I think ..
''It's like my mind knows what's right but my heart is being retarded and still cares.''
Pretty much true, eh ?
x
6 comments:
josh, engage yourself is some other activities where you wont have to remember him.
I am doing the same. But sometimes it happens, don't let it go overboard, thats it! :)
hurt urslf physically?!! wtf jo?!!!
no one in the wrld is so damn imp thn urslf,do put tht in ur sane mind smtyms!X(..
oh i do knw wat its like...i am going through it myslf..dating othrs jus doesnt wrk,unless u lyk tht sm1..yeah i knw..& the fckng retard tht i am,i put myslf in2 ths position 2 forget sm1 else...oh i sure did frgt tht sm1 else,but nw i cant seem 2 forget ths 1.. :|
We all are goin through the same phase it seems!
Dating someone esle just doesnt help me too...! :|
Sometimes .. things just don't help .. no matter what you do !
To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing.
It’s not about pride, about how you appear & it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doe...sn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness.
It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss & it’s not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome & move on. It is having an open mind & confidence in the future.
Letting go is learning, experiencing, & growing.
To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry & made you grow.
It’s about all that you have, all that you had & all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up.
And I have no doubt, you will succeed in your battle to do so Josh!
I really liked your blog post.Much thanks again. Awesome.
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